Running and working for an office business is commonplace these days. Being able to build and maintain a strong business is always a challenge and there are many factors that come into play when hoping for productive growth.
Whether you are stressing out about the creation of pivot tables for your boss, looking into van hire for your next trade show, or simply counting down the days until the weekend… we have some jokes to cheer you up. These are 30 jokes that all office workers can relate to this year…
- A workweek is so rough that after Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF.
- I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
- Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
- Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
- He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
- A guy goes in for a job interview and sits down with the boss.
The boss asks him, “What do you think is your worst quality?”
The man says “I’m probably too honest.”
The boss says, “That’s not a bad thing, I think being honest is a good quality.”
The man replies, “I don’t care about what you think!”
- My memory has gotten so bad it has actually caused me to lose my job. I’m still employed. I just can’t remember where.
- If every day is a gift, I’d like a receipt for Monday. I want to exchange it for another Friday.
- Feeling stressed out? Make a nice cup of hot tea and then spill it in the lap of whoever’s bugging you.
- I use artificial sweeteners at work. I add it to everything I say to my boss.
- A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
- Some people say the glass is half full. Some people say the glass is half empty. Engineers say the glass is twice as big as necessary.
- I asked the corporate wellness officer, “Can you teach me yoga?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
- Teamwork is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
- I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
- Nothing ruins a Friday more than an understanding that today is Tuesday.
- The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to upset you.
- I get plenty of exercise – jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines. How do construction workers party? They raise the roof.
- The only thing worse than seeing something done wrong is seeing it done slowly.
- If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
- We have enough youth. How about a fountain of “Smart”?
- My boss says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.
- The reason we “nod off to sleep” is so it looks like we’re just emphatically agreeing with everything when we’re in a boring meeting.
- When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of an emergency, I always write, “A very good doctor”.
- There is a new trend in our office; everyone is putting names on their food. I saw it today, while I was eating a sandwich named Kevin.
- My annual performance review says I lack “passion and intensity.” I guess management hasn’t seen me alone with a Big Mac.
- I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
- I always tell new hires, don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.
- My resumé is just a list of things I hope you never ask me to do.